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But the upkeep of constantly monitoring someone else’s comings and goings sounds arduous, not to mention doesn’t necessarily tell you everything you need to know.What might read as a sexy email may just be how they talk with certain friends.I subscribe to all sorts of mailing lists that don’t necessarily “mean” anything, and have Google alerts on everything from “oral sex” to “Hello Kitty.” Also, what if they want to surprise you with a present?
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Not necessarily, but it was a harrowing way to find out.
With an ex, I read an email that criticized me in a way that I’ve never forgotten, and in that case, I wish I hadn’t seen it, because it wasn’t intended for me.
I talk and email about whoever I’m dating to friends—usually it’s positive, but sometimes it’s not.
I also talk about plenty of other things that are, frankly, none of their business.
If there’s something I want them to know, I’ll tell them, and, I would hope, vice versa.
I believe privacy is important in relationships; that’s not to say you can’t express curiosity or doubt or suspicion if that’s what you’re feeling.If he tells you he’s grabbing a quick drink and is gone for three hours, you have the right to ask about it, something else I also have experienced.Jools Oliver, wife of chef Jamie Oliver, and writer Samantha Brick both proudly declared that they check their husbands’ emails and phones regularly, and credit their successful marriages in part to such snooping.Oliver said that even though she monitors her husband’s email, phone and Twitter account, “He says I’m a jealous girl, but I think I’m fairly laid-back, considering.” While it may work for them, I would caution against following their lead.Just because you find out everything you possibly can about someone, even someone you’re sleeping with or married to.I know because I once read my boyfriend’s email (while using his computer with his permission) and found out he’d been sleeping with prostitutes while having unprotected sex with me, and promptly broke up with him.